2007年10月5日 星期五
Cheat
I have lied to my parents only once. They wanted me to study in STUT when I started to choose a college two years ago, but I didn't want to because my desire was to study in a college in northern Taiwan. They thought it was too far to study there. I wanted to decide these details of my life no that I was an adult. Therefore, I deceived them by saying that I had applied for STUT, but, in fact, I had not. After few days, my mom got a call from the executive in STUT and asked whether I would like to apply for the school or not. My mom answered yes. She was very angry with me for lying to her and my father. She didn't want me to study so far away becasue she thought my elder sister who studied in STUT could take care of me. I cried when my mom begged me not to study in the north school. I felt sorry to my parents for deceiving them. Since then, I respect my parent even more because I don’t want them to be disappointed again.
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"I had ever cheated my family one thing." This is not English. The first problem is "had ever". That's not proper English 99.9% of the time; "had never" is correct English, though. The second problem is "cheated". Halfway down the page, you use another word: "deceived"; and three quarters of the way down the page, you use it again: "deceiving". This first sentence should be something like this:
"I've {deceived/lied to} my parents only once. They wanted me..." The "parent" typo is inexcusable, and you make that typo three times! But you get it right once.
"but I did not want." ==> "but I didn't want to."
"Because my desire was to study in north college." The first problem here is starting the sentence with "Because" when it's a reason that belongs to the previous sentence. It should be "but I didn't want to because I". The second problem is "to study in north college." This should be "to study in a college in northern Taiwan."
"I would like to decide anything by myself since I was grown." ==> "I wanted to decide these details of my life now that I was an adult."
"Therefore, I deceived them that I had already applied for STUT. In fact, I did not." You should say "I deceived them by saying that I had", and then you don't need to say "In fact, I did not", or "I told them that I had...but, in fact, I had not."
"She was very angry at me for cheating her and my father." ==> "She was very angry with me for lying to her and my father." The idioms are "angry with" and "mad at".
"Why she did not want me to study so far away was that she thought" ==> "She didn't want me to study so far away because she thought".
Your post is clear and easy to understand, however.
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